It's been a long time...but it's taken me this long to truly digest and figure out how I am.
Everyone asks me - How are you doing?
I always faked it and just said I was fine and all is doing well.
All is doing well...but I don't know yet that I am fine with it all.
There are moments that are very easy, and I do feel okay. I truly feel like this all happened for a reason. I feel positive about the day to day accomplishments I have.
Then there are moments that are very hard, and I do not feel okay. I am frustrated and don't understand why this had to happen to me. I can only see all the "I Can'ts" and forget all the things I actually can do.
And one of the last things I want to hear right now is about how much insight I am gaining for when I am a therapist. Oh the empathy I will be able to show my patients because I know exactly what they are going through. Well, right now I AM THE PATIENT! And I hate it!!!! I know that someday, I will have a patient that I can relate so much to...but right now, I am on the table and going through this and not on the rollie stool giving instructions.
In the long run, I know that I will be fine with it all and I can give an honest answer of - I am fine and everything is going so well.
But today...today, I am not fine with this!
But until then:
Colosians 1:11
[We pray] that you may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, [to exercise] every kind of endurance and patience (perseverance and forbearance) with joy.
