Wednesday, July 8, 2009

It's been a long time...but it's taken me this long to truly digest and figure out how I am.
Everyone asks me - How are you doing?
I always faked it and just said I was fine and all is doing well.
All is doing well...but I don't know yet that I am fine with it all.

There are moments that are very easy, and I do feel okay. I truly feel like this all happened for a reason. I feel positive about the day to day accomplishments I have.

Then there are moments that are very hard, and I do not feel okay. I am frustrated and don't understand why this had to happen to me. I can only see all the "I Can'ts" and forget all the things I actually can do.

And one of the last things I want to hear right now is about how much insight I am gaining for when I am a therapist. Oh the empathy I will be able to show my patients because I know exactly what they are going through. Well, right now I AM THE PATIENT! And I hate it!!!! I know that someday, I will have a patient that I can relate so much to...but right now, I am on the table and going through this and not on the rollie stool giving instructions.

In the long run, I know that I will be fine with it all and I can give an honest answer of - I am fine and everything is going so well.
But today...today, I am not fine with this!

But until then:
Colosians 1:11
[We pray] that you may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, [to exercise] every kind of endurance and patience (perseverance and forbearance) with joy.

2 comments:

  1. Can understand your frustrations even if I'm not in your position (I almost said "shoes" but not sure if you would have seen the humor in that.) How awesome that you have a scripture to encourage you this day. Love ya!

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